I have always felt a sense of fondness for my teenaged niece Fathima**. She is 15 now, but I remember the day she was born because it was her birth that first made me an aunty! Al-hamdu lillah, many more nieces and nephews have followed, but Fathima remains special to me. I was just 11 when she was born, so the age gap isn't that huge. When Fathima was just three months old, her mother (my cousin) left for the United States. I felt miserable after they left and I really missed my little niece. Al-hamdu lillah, my cousin made a point of returning to India to visit us annually, so every year we eagerly anticipate their visit. Of course, the main reason we look forward to seeing them is because we missed them so badly, but in India, there is also the notion that children raised in the Western world tend to forget their own culture and values. I know it must sound strange, but thanks to overdosing on Hollywood, many of us believe that the West really is as it is depicted in the movies. We feel that a yearly visit will ensure that Fathima keep in touch with her culture and values.
When my niece reached puberty, the concern became greater than ever. Everybody wished that my cousin would return to India and felt fearful that Fathima would be molded into the Western way of life and, accordingly, grow distant from Islam, astaghfirullah. But to the contrary, I find teenagers here in India are often more Westernized than Muslim teenagers growing up in the Western world.For example, the hijab! It is a word we use a lot, but many people in India don't really understand the true meaning of this word. I know that I certainly didn't when I was a teenager. Even though I was a Muslim, I was ignorant about Islam. I knew that a Muslim woman should be covered, but I was unclear about exactly what I should cover and what can show. I used to wrap my hair with a see-through dupata (shawl) and thus considered myself to be following an Islamic dress code. I used to wear short-sleeved dresses under the opinion that arms aren't attractive anyway! I would ask sisters who told me to cover them, "What's wrong in showing them?" Sometimes I'd wear dresses that hugged my body, but wondered what the big deal was — after all, I was fully covered. There were few among my relatives who really followed the Islamic dress code, so my dressing didn't seem un-Islamic and I didn't feel particularly conscious of it. But this was before I explored Islam and pondered over the Truth.
I remember one occasion when my Indian-American niece was visiting. She was just 9 years old, and I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt. My other cousins found my style of dressing to be "cool," but Fathima made her feelings plain: "Why are you wearing a shirt like that? It isn't Islamic!" My cheeks turned red. I was dumbfounded and I just didn't know what answer to give. At this point I was already starting to move closer to Islam and had gained some knowledge about hijab, so I knew I couldn't dismiss her questions in the way I might have before. However, I didn't yet have the courage or strength to wear hijab — but I did change my shirt!
A Religion of Choice
This year when Fathima came to India, she was wearing hijab. I was so proud to see her like that! She told me all about her experiences of wearing hijab in America. "I am the only female in my school with hijab," she explained showing me her school photograph. She has had the courage that neither I nor many other teenagers in India have.
When she was asked whether she was forced to wear hijab, she explained, "In Islam, we can't convert [people], but only convey the message. I chose this by myself! Nobody forced me to wear this." She was right. Islam is all about conveying and not converting. We can just convey the message, but we can never force anything on anyone. Each soul is responsible for their actions and nobody is going to answer Allah Most High for us.
One day when I asked Fathima how her friends reacted, she said her non-Muslim friends completely understand that this is her belief and in fact respect and support her in wearing the hijab. She told me of one of her experiences with a schoolmate at Halloween. "Everybody wore a costume that day as it was Halloween. I was on my way to meet my friends and one boy suddenly appeared from nowhere and said 'Nice costume!' I laughed and told him that this is not a costume, but my way of dressing! Instead of me being embarrassed, he was embarrassed and said 'Sorry.'"
I am proud of her courage. I think she is really a brave girl and full of self-respect. She proved to my family that they were wrong when they assumed that growing up in America would make her adopt the customs of Hollywood. In fact, Fathima found girls in India of her age to be more attracted to that way of life than she was.
Discovery and Impediments
As for me, I only really awakened after I discovered Islam, and it was then that the beauty of the hijab became clear to me. I tried to cover myself fully according to the rules laid down in the Shari`ah. At first a few people laughed at me. Can you believe that? Muslim women making fun of the Islamic dress code! I heard comments like these:
They made such a big deal out of my hijab, but despite all of those remarks, I was and am determined to stand firm in abiding by the Shari`ah rulings on hijab.
Now people are used to seeing me like this. They have stopped passing judgment. I feel so happy and proud walking around in my hijab, showing that I am a Muslimah! A Muslimah in hijab is doing silent da`wah. Without even having to open her mouth, she portrays Islam through her hijab. Seeing a Muslim in hijab, people get curious and then they ask questions about it, which gives her an opportunity to convey the message of Islam. She does not force them to listen; instead, she attracts them to Islam.
[And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms.] (An-Nur 24:31)
** Name changed for privacy sake
© Amatullah Abdullah
