Al Khul': A Mercy from Allah...Yes you can!
…Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allâh, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al Khul ( divorce). The Noble Qur'an - 2:229
Part –3
Note: This is the final installment of a three part series on Kuhl
The Qur’an and Sunnah are guides to the whole of humanity; they tell us how to lead our lives. But we see that culture is blended with Islam. Due to this collaboration, Islam does not appear in its pure form. This is one of the reasons why there are so many misconceptions about Islam among Non-Muslims – because we are not living true Islam, but a blend of Islam and our own cultures.
Marriage is considered to be one of the most important and most beautiful things in Islam:
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect" (Qur’an 30:21).
The above verse shows that a man and woman are married to live in tranquility. Tranquility? How? Through loving each other, honouring each other, supporting each other, protecting each other’s rights, etc. Unfortunately, we see in many cases that couples are married for the sake of being married, not for a growth of peace and mutual mercy.
Some people think marriage is just a matter of providing food and living expenses for the wife. Islam clearly states that there are more important aspects of married life, such as the harmony that should be present to ensure a successful marriage.
I know a married couple where the husband is supposed to be pious and he calls upon the Qur’an and Sunnah often. But it was shocking to see him allowing his elder brother to beat his wife! His wife’s ears were so badly hurt. Prophet Muhammad never once hit his wives or children. He said the best of men were the one who is best to his wife, and that he himself was best to his wives. Why do we try to limit women’s rights, which Prophet Muhammad and the Qur’an allow, and ignore these hadith, and injunctions in the Qur’an to live with one’s wife in kindness?
On another occasion, I saw this woman weeping with her hands tied to the window frames. The husband gave the following reason,”She is insane. She says she wants to leave the place as my brother hit her …she says she needs a break.” Now who is insane?
Where is the tranquility in this marriage? Where did the love and mercy go? Why would anyone try to justify this kind of marriage?
A passage in the Qur’an says in case of extreme disobedience, the husband is allowed to hit his wife lightly without leaving a mark or hurting her. Many men misinterpret this passage in the Qur'an and believe this gives them license to humiliate and brutalize their wives.
Do they know that the Qur’an instructs women what to do, if they fear ill treatment from their husbands?
Do they know that the Prophet (pbuh) has asked the believing men to be gentle with women, and never raise a hand to them in anger.?
He asked the men to treat their women with utmost fairness and kindness and should never violate her right. Obviously, this sister’s right to a life of dignity is violated!!
In Islam, when one strikes his slave in the face, he expiates for his act by setting the slave free immediately, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? If this man is “striving“ to follow Qur’an and Sunnah, doesn’t he know that the Prophet (saw) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge without having to give up her mahr?
I sometimes wonder, are these men really aware of Islam? Or are they still in the age of Jahiliyah (Ignorance)?
In the Qur’an, Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2: 187) .Spouses are supposed to guard each other and protect each other like how a garment protects us and even hides our scars and blemishes. A husband and wife are created for each other’s emotional and physical support.
The disappearance of harmony in marriage is enough grounds for the wife to seek a Khul (divorce). This sister has all the right to end her marriage but unfortunately Muslim women in this plight are unable to escape these kinds of torment due to various reason; children, society, family, and especially economics.
Sadly, this is the plight of most Muslimah in countries like India, Pakistan or Bangladesh. Women are leading a dead life out of fear of society’s reaction. Muslim women in other parts of the world face a different cultural battle. On the whole, Muslim women have become victims to culture, society and people.
Lastly, a believer should remember that when one is faced with any problem in life, one should look for the solution in the Qur’an and Sunnah and not try to use his or her own mind as his or her mind could have been corrupted or influenced by the society, culture and family and become biased unintentionally.
Islam is the most practical and logical religion.It is practical without doubt and understands that prohibitions on divorce will not do any good to a marriage that is already dead and beyond repair. It is not reasonable to force an ill-mated couple to remain together against their will. Forcing ill-mated couples to remain together will only complicate the issue even further. Islam is practical in every way! …But are the Muslims so?
It is time for us to stop turning a blind eye to all this and start doing something about it. After all, Allah commands us in His Qur'an to “stand out for justice, even if it is against yourselves."
"O ye who believe! stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well- acquainted with all that ye do." (Qur'an, 4:135)
It is time for believing men and women to stand up and protect our sisters, while educating these brothers about the true Sunnah of the Prophet (saw)!!
Al Khul- Part 3
Please send your comments & suggestions to: amatullah110@yahoo.com
© Amatullah Abdullah 2005.
…Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allâh, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al Khul ( divorce). The Noble Qur'an - 2:229
Part –3
Note: This is the final installment of a three part series on Kuhl
The Qur’an and Sunnah are guides to the whole of humanity; they tell us how to lead our lives. But we see that culture is blended with Islam. Due to this collaboration, Islam does not appear in its pure form. This is one of the reasons why there are so many misconceptions about Islam among Non-Muslims – because we are not living true Islam, but a blend of Islam and our own cultures.
Marriage is considered to be one of the most important and most beautiful things in Islam:
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect" (Qur’an 30:21).
The above verse shows that a man and woman are married to live in tranquility. Tranquility? How? Through loving each other, honouring each other, supporting each other, protecting each other’s rights, etc. Unfortunately, we see in many cases that couples are married for the sake of being married, not for a growth of peace and mutual mercy.
Some people think marriage is just a matter of providing food and living expenses for the wife. Islam clearly states that there are more important aspects of married life, such as the harmony that should be present to ensure a successful marriage.
I know a married couple where the husband is supposed to be pious and he calls upon the Qur’an and Sunnah often. But it was shocking to see him allowing his elder brother to beat his wife! His wife’s ears were so badly hurt. Prophet Muhammad never once hit his wives or children. He said the best of men were the one who is best to his wife, and that he himself was best to his wives. Why do we try to limit women’s rights, which Prophet Muhammad and the Qur’an allow, and ignore these hadith, and injunctions in the Qur’an to live with one’s wife in kindness?
On another occasion, I saw this woman weeping with her hands tied to the window frames. The husband gave the following reason,”She is insane. She says she wants to leave the place as my brother hit her …she says she needs a break.” Now who is insane?
Where is the tranquility in this marriage? Where did the love and mercy go? Why would anyone try to justify this kind of marriage?
A passage in the Qur’an says in case of extreme disobedience, the husband is allowed to hit his wife lightly without leaving a mark or hurting her. Many men misinterpret this passage in the Qur'an and believe this gives them license to humiliate and brutalize their wives.
Do they know that the Qur’an instructs women what to do, if they fear ill treatment from their husbands?
Do they know that the Prophet (pbuh) has asked the believing men to be gentle with women, and never raise a hand to them in anger.?
He asked the men to treat their women with utmost fairness and kindness and should never violate her right. Obviously, this sister’s right to a life of dignity is violated!!
In Islam, when one strikes his slave in the face, he expiates for his act by setting the slave free immediately, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? If this man is “striving“ to follow Qur’an and Sunnah, doesn’t he know that the Prophet (saw) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge without having to give up her mahr?
I sometimes wonder, are these men really aware of Islam? Or are they still in the age of Jahiliyah (Ignorance)?
In the Qur’an, Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2: 187) .Spouses are supposed to guard each other and protect each other like how a garment protects us and even hides our scars and blemishes. A husband and wife are created for each other’s emotional and physical support.
The disappearance of harmony in marriage is enough grounds for the wife to seek a Khul (divorce). This sister has all the right to end her marriage but unfortunately Muslim women in this plight are unable to escape these kinds of torment due to various reason; children, society, family, and especially economics.
Sadly, this is the plight of most Muslimah in countries like India, Pakistan or Bangladesh. Women are leading a dead life out of fear of society’s reaction. Muslim women in other parts of the world face a different cultural battle. On the whole, Muslim women have become victims to culture, society and people.
Lastly, a believer should remember that when one is faced with any problem in life, one should look for the solution in the Qur’an and Sunnah and not try to use his or her own mind as his or her mind could have been corrupted or influenced by the society, culture and family and become biased unintentionally.
Islam is the most practical and logical religion.It is practical without doubt and understands that prohibitions on divorce will not do any good to a marriage that is already dead and beyond repair. It is not reasonable to force an ill-mated couple to remain together against their will. Forcing ill-mated couples to remain together will only complicate the issue even further. Islam is practical in every way! …But are the Muslims so?
It is time for us to stop turning a blind eye to all this and start doing something about it. After all, Allah commands us in His Qur'an to “stand out for justice, even if it is against yourselves."
"O ye who believe! stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well- acquainted with all that ye do." (Qur'an, 4:135)
It is time for believing men and women to stand up and protect our sisters, while educating these brothers about the true Sunnah of the Prophet (saw)!!
Please send your comments & suggestions to: amatullah110@yahoo.com
© Amatullah Abdullah 2005.
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